Apparently I haven't officially overdosed on all that is American. Interestingly enough, our original quest only landed us back in the same search that we embarked on three years ago. So, mostly driven by my constant curiosity for all things that are ridiculous, beautiful, stupid, and delicious, my periodical account of everyday American bullshit will continue.
I guess I like writing.
Let's see what happens.
And the saga continues.....
October 15, 2013
October 01, 2010
The End.
It’s Friday morning, and we just woke up in San Francisco at Sister’s casita (yay). Just as expected, the city is wrapped with a thick and misty layer of fog – I never thought the day would come that I missed it, but I guess I did. As we passed over the Bay Bridge yesterday afternoon, and made the transition from the hot valley to the cool San Francisco summer, the damp air blew a sweet cooling breeze through the car, and we knew we were home. You can always count on this city to welcome you with a nippy, time to put on another layer, kiss.
There was a weird and wonderful silence in the car as we gradually made our way through the awkward merges and exit only lanes which make up the City’s rush hour traffic. In one respect, we have been on an absolutely relaxing vacation for the last three months. On the other hand, I totally feel as though we have just accomplished a wild and enduring mission. Despite the fact that we were on holiday, I feel a mad sense of accomplishment. Jarvis and I totally have a high-five moment to celebrate our success.
It’s nice to be back in a city where I know my way around. Back in the Mission where people and places have familiar faces. The long-standing streets and storefronts are glowing in a new light, and as we walk through the Excelsior, I remember all those little things that I absolutely love about this place. We have dinner with some of the family crew, and it’s almost like we never left. We are both completely stoked to be home.
I know I’ve tried to describe in words the fine points which have made this crazy connect the dots experience a complete picture. In reality, I don’t think I will ever be able to illustrate all of the moments that made this summer the best I have ever had. The current status of our nation is not just a blanket statement, it’s actually a lot of small components which comprise a greater whole – a vast continuum of colors which melt into one abstract and indescribable painting. The majority of our journey has been sugary bliss – there were only a small handful of moments that left a bitter tartness behind – and I defiantly feel as though we both got a hefty dose of The All American Way. The one thing I can say for sure about the whole expedition is that the time I got to spend with my best friend will be forever unforgettable, and the best part is that it’s only the beginning of an even longer journey that we plan on undertaking together. Frankly, it’s an indescribable feeling…sweet as saccharine sugar.
There was a weird and wonderful silence in the car as we gradually made our way through the awkward merges and exit only lanes which make up the City’s rush hour traffic. In one respect, we have been on an absolutely relaxing vacation for the last three months. On the other hand, I totally feel as though we have just accomplished a wild and enduring mission. Despite the fact that we were on holiday, I feel a mad sense of accomplishment. Jarvis and I totally have a high-five moment to celebrate our success.
It’s nice to be back in a city where I know my way around. Back in the Mission where people and places have familiar faces. The long-standing streets and storefronts are glowing in a new light, and as we walk through the Excelsior, I remember all those little things that I absolutely love about this place. We have dinner with some of the family crew, and it’s almost like we never left. We are both completely stoked to be home.
I know I’ve tried to describe in words the fine points which have made this crazy connect the dots experience a complete picture. In reality, I don’t think I will ever be able to illustrate all of the moments that made this summer the best I have ever had. The current status of our nation is not just a blanket statement, it’s actually a lot of small components which comprise a greater whole – a vast continuum of colors which melt into one abstract and indescribable painting. The majority of our journey has been sugary bliss – there were only a small handful of moments that left a bitter tartness behind – and I defiantly feel as though we both got a hefty dose of The All American Way. The one thing I can say for sure about the whole expedition is that the time I got to spend with my best friend will be forever unforgettable, and the best part is that it’s only the beginning of an even longer journey that we plan on undertaking together. Frankly, it’s an indescribable feeling…sweet as saccharine sugar.
September 30, 2010
Count Down to the End ~ Day Two
Casper, Wyoming was nothing to write home about – just a roadside stop for truckers and those making the trek across the big open west. The landscape in Wyoming is barren, minus the brushy fields and the herds of wild antelope. Truly one of the nations “great frontiers,” and now I understand the meaning to the “home on the range” song. It took us the better part of the morning to get out of the massive state.
We maneuver down sloping roads, which run between rock walled canyons, and into Salt Lake City. Just outside of the city, we stop in a “town” called Delle. One of the many fuel stops today, and this one brings us to a station in the middle of the great salt flats. This place is teetering on the boundary between life and death – it’s nearly October and the second I get out of the car I can feel the dry heat slap me in the face like a death wish. In a way, the white landscape reminds me of our drive into White Sands. The only difference is that White Sands is better.
We enter Nevada, and I can’t help but discuss the fact that we have truly come full circle. The drive through the desert landscape takes all afternoon, and when dusk hits we are still some one hundred and fifty miles outside of Reno – our destination goal for the day. The sun sets behind the high desert wasteland, and as the sky turns shades of pinks and purples, distant stars appear in the distance. I’m feeling sentimental about the trip drawing to an end. I close my eyes (Jarvis is driving) and take a deep breath – thankful to the world around me for blessing me with this life. Then, like clockwork, the early evening bugs come out of the woodworks, and within minutes the windshield is covered with insect carcasses.
We pull into Reno around nine o’clock. We have been in the car for thirteen hours, and are ready for something to eat other than road snacks, and drinks. We decided to have one last night of celebration together, being that we are technically on the last day of our honeymoon. We get a suite at the Peppermill, and head downstairs for dinner. Unfortunately, everything except the twenty-four hour diner is already closed and our waitress there is a total tweaker. We eat some grub, and then grab some drinks at one of the casino bars. We reminisce on what an amazing summer we have both had. I’m utterly grateful that I have met a person whom I can spend three strait months with, and never run out of things to talk about. I’m not even close to being sick of spending time with my amazing Jarvis, and I would keep the journey going if I could. I keep reminding myself that our journey has only begun.
This morning we lay in bed and you can tell there is a sense of sadness in the air. In one respect, we are so ready to get back to San Francisco, and in another, we really just want to get in the car and drive back the other way. Only four hours to San Francisco now.
Count Down to the End ~ Day Two
Casper, Wyoming was nothing to write home about – just a roadside stop for truckers and those making the trek across the big open west. The landscape in Wyoming is barren, minus the brushy fields and the herds of wild antelope. Truly one of the nations “great frontiers,” and now I understand the meaning to the “home on the range” song. It took us the better part of the morning to get out of the massive state.
We maneuver down sloping roads, which run between rock walled canyons, and into Salt Lake City. Just outside of the city, we stop in a “town” called Delle. One of the many fuel stops today, and this one brings us to a station in the middle of the great salt flats. This place is teetering on the boundary between life and death – it’s nearly October and the second I get out of the car I can feel the dry heat slap me in the face like a death wish. In a way, the white landscape reminds me of our drive into White Sands. The only difference is that White Sands is better.
We enter Nevada, and I can’t help but discuss the fact that we have truly come full circle. The drive through the desert landscape takes all afternoon, and when dusk hits we are still some one hundred and fifty miles outside of Reno – our destination goal for the day. The sun sets behind the high desert wasteland, and as the sky turns shades of pinks and purples, distant stars appear in the distance. I’m feeling sentimental about the trip drawing to an end. I close my eyes (Jarvis is driving) and take a deep breath – thankful to the world around me for blessing me with this life. Then, like clockwork, the early evening bugs come out of the woodworks, and within minutes the windshield is covered with insect carcasses.
We pull into Reno around nine o’clock. We have been in the car for thirteen hours, and are ready for something to eat other than road snacks, and drinks. We decided to have one last night of celebration together, being that we are technically on the last day of our honeymoon. We get a suite at the Peppermill, and head downstairs for dinner. Unfortunately, everything except the twenty-four hour diner is already closed and our waitress there is a total tweaker. We eat some grub, and then grab some drinks at one of the casino bars. We reminisce on what an amazing summer we have both had. I’m utterly grateful that I have met a person whom I can spend three strait months with, and never run out of things to talk about. I’m not even close to being sick of spending time with my amazing Jarvis, and I would keep the journey going if I could. I keep reminding myself that our journey has only begun.
This morning we lay in bed and you can tell there is a sense of sadness in the air. In one respect, we are so ready to get back to San Francisco, and in another, we really just want to get in the car and drive back the other way. Only four hours to San Francisco now.
We maneuver down sloping roads, which run between rock walled canyons, and into Salt Lake City. Just outside of the city, we stop in a “town” called Delle. One of the many fuel stops today, and this one brings us to a station in the middle of the great salt flats. This place is teetering on the boundary between life and death – it’s nearly October and the second I get out of the car I can feel the dry heat slap me in the face like a death wish. In a way, the white landscape reminds me of our drive into White Sands. The only difference is that White Sands is better.
We enter Nevada, and I can’t help but discuss the fact that we have truly come full circle. The drive through the desert landscape takes all afternoon, and when dusk hits we are still some one hundred and fifty miles outside of Reno – our destination goal for the day. The sun sets behind the high desert wasteland, and as the sky turns shades of pinks and purples, distant stars appear in the distance. I’m feeling sentimental about the trip drawing to an end. I close my eyes (Jarvis is driving) and take a deep breath – thankful to the world around me for blessing me with this life. Then, like clockwork, the early evening bugs come out of the woodworks, and within minutes the windshield is covered with insect carcasses.
We pull into Reno around nine o’clock. We have been in the car for thirteen hours, and are ready for something to eat other than road snacks, and drinks. We decided to have one last night of celebration together, being that we are technically on the last day of our honeymoon. We get a suite at the Peppermill, and head downstairs for dinner. Unfortunately, everything except the twenty-four hour diner is already closed and our waitress there is a total tweaker. We eat some grub, and then grab some drinks at one of the casino bars. We reminisce on what an amazing summer we have both had. I’m utterly grateful that I have met a person whom I can spend three strait months with, and never run out of things to talk about. I’m not even close to being sick of spending time with my amazing Jarvis, and I would keep the journey going if I could. I keep reminding myself that our journey has only begun.
This morning we lay in bed and you can tell there is a sense of sadness in the air. In one respect, we are so ready to get back to San Francisco, and in another, we really just want to get in the car and drive back the other way. Only four hours to San Francisco now.
September 28, 2010
Count Down to the End ~ Day One
This morning when we woke up we were approximately thirty hours driving time from San Francisco. We gave our love to my in-laws, stopped off at Casey’s for some gas and donuts, and hit the road heading back West. The sun was just rising as we drove out of the prairie land of Southwest Minnesota. Everything was tucked into a balmy layer of pinks, and the glow on the horizon kissed the earth with a kindhearted smooch. I blew back kisses as we left the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes.
It wasn’t long before we drove through Brookings, South Dakota. A supersized Red Bull and some authentic Buffalo Ridge jerky sticks later, we flew through Rapid City on the West side of the state. Lost in our excitement to get back to California, we almost forgot that we were on a quest to review all things that make this land “America”. Luckily, we remembered just in time to take a small detour to Mt. Rushmore. I mean, a tour de USA could not be complete without visiting an oversized monument of our Freemason Forefathers. Although I can appreciate the effort that must have gone into such a massive project, my general opinion is that the whole tourist attraction is really nothing special. We did get some good photos, however, and now we can say that we’ve “been there, and done that.” (Actually, we had both visited the park when we were younger, but thought we would reevaluate with our “grown-up eyes”.)
The stop did allow us to walk off our lunch, catch some fresh summer air, and look down on the badass Badlands of South Dakota…so, I guess all-in-all the destination was a bit of both sweet and sour. Glad we stopped, and the drive was beautiful. We saw a mountain goat that looked like a polar bear from a distance.We made it as far as Casper, Wyoming today, before the setting sun glaring through the windshield became just about unbearable. We are eighteen hours and fourteen minutes from home, give or take a few. We will make our way through Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada tomorrow, as we count down to the end of our voyage. My feelings are mixed.
September 22, 2010
The Land of Jarvis' Origin
It’s hard to believe that Jarvis and the boyz back home came from such a teeny town deep in the heart of corn country. As you drive into Southwest Minnesota, maize and soybean fields stretch across the countryside as far as the eye can see. Tractors operated by flannel wearing farmers cruise along side the road through the grassy ditches where they can inspect their neighbor’s crop. There are farming devices which appear as foreign as space ships and robots in these city eyes, and when you haven’t grown up in farmland, things like pastures filled with rolled spools of hay, or old outhouses, seem strangely remarkable. The region is studded with pocket-sized towns, some with single digit population numbers, other hubs boasting nearly two thousand residents. Canby has around eighteen hundred.
I have never spent time in a place like Canby, and the first few times I visited I was in complete culture shock – even now, from time to time, I’m taken aback by the traditional conservative ways of the regions inhabitants. I’m reminded each time we pass an anti-abortion sign in one of the fields on the side of the county road. It took me a while to get past the whole “everybody knows everybody” business here, but once I got to know everybody a bit too, I start to feel more comfortable when we visit – less of a dark skinned outsider, and more like “Josh’s wife”. Actually, there are still times when I walk into Parrot Bay or the VFW and feel as though the juke box stops and all the men at the bar turn to look at me at once. It’s quite comical actually. Gets funnier the more I drink.
The small village that is Canby is quiet, and because there aren’t many options for recreational opportunities (the theater is only open on the weekends, and one never knows when the bowling alley might decide to open) we spend the majority of our time out of the house “road-tripping” around the countryside. Its autumn here and the colors are turning from green to creepy Halloween. There is still a fair amount of corn in the fields, and from what I’ve grasped from the local disappointment, “…that corn is ready to come down, but all this gosh darn rain…” I’m starting to pick up on more and more of the local lingo, but I still refuse to call lunch dinner and dinner supper. Sticking to my guns on that one.We went to the dirt track races in Madison last weekend, and I almost got decapitated by the axel of a flipping car. A slight exaggeration of course, but I think it really was a close call. Super gnarly wreck.
I think Jarvis is more and more impressed with my knowledge of the races each time we go, and I can see a twinkle in his Bush Light filled eyes when I floss some of my newfound facts. The track was at the fair grounds, so once again this summer we visited a county fair and I ate yet another corn dog. I also had my first go at an order of cheese curds and fell strait into fried cheese heaven – got me thinking, maybe there is a God after all. Yup, we had some good times in Madison, and got our picture taken with then famous lutefisk to prove it.Added highlights of my Canby escapade are the thrift stores here, believe it or not. I have visited Prairie Five twice, and today made a handful of new purchases at Delightful Treasures, the newest second hand store in town. I pretty much had to buy a whole new wardrobe because all my brilliant ass decided to pack for the summer was daisy dukes and swimsuits. There are some real scores hidden in those thrift store racks, and these are real thrift store prices (three dollar dresses etc.) not no San Francisco prices in there. Speaking of price perks, there is nothing like going to one of the small dives in town and being able to order a cheeseburger and a beer for six bucks. I keep telling Jarvis that I can’t believe you can actually get a bar BLT for three seventy-five. I just got a dinner sized order of spaghetti and meatballs from the local pizza joint for five bucks. At this rate, I would totally be a fat ass if I lived here for any lengthy amount of time.
It’s really nice to be here in Minnesooooota with the Meads. Dad and Bernie are always so hospitable, and being part of the family is quite the privilege. Actually, being a part of all the crew’s families here is a privilege. We have been so lucky to have dinner with the Rhymers and the Engesmoes and I feel like I have parents all over this bitch. It’s pretty awesome to see all the crew folks, but it really makes me hungry for the crew kids back home.
We are headed to Worthington, Minnesota this weekend for the nuptials of some good friends, and it will be the first wedding I’ve ever stood in, aside from my own a few months ago, of course (our three month anniversary is approaching this weekend, actually!!) After the marriage celebration we will head back to cozy Canby to grab our buckets of shit and regroup before our pilgrimage back West. When we settle down into a place for this amount of time, it almost feels like we’re not on a road trip anymore …. I’m ready to get back into our mobile house and tack some more miles on the silver bullet.
September 16, 2010
..Twin Cities..
As we pull into the Minneapolis metropolis Jarvis and I are both stoked to be back in the land of traffic, restaurants, clubs, and city noise. We spent the prior week in the small town that is Canby (which I will post an article on before long), so being back in a city is a breath of fresh air for both of us. Minneapolis is an outstanding city, and if the winter months weren’t so brutally cold, I think we would consider spending some real time here.
Our first night in the metropolitan area was spent in the outer reaches of the Twin Cities with a few of Jarvis’ cousins and his oober cute God Son. That evening, we had a bbq supper in the park. I enjoy our time sitting around the picnic table swapping stories. Jarvis got to run-a-muck with the lil’ one for a bit before we ate, and it makes me extremely happy to know that he is building memories with his favorite kiddo. We might have stayed there visiting all night, but as the sun set in the distance the mosquitoes began to congregate and irritate.
We make our way out of the fringes of the cities in the morning and head into NW Minneapolis to meet an old friend from San Francisco. Every time we stop through Minneapolis, we make it a point to drop in on our good friend Rich – he’s consistently cordial, and his extensive knowledge of the cities best dives, eateries, and watering holes is extraordinary. Upon our arrival he took us to Manny’s Steakhouse for one of the best lunches that I’ve consumed on this entire vacation. I had the surf n’ turf sliders with a crock of French onion soup and Jarvis can’t help but exclaim over the fact that there are bits of applewood smoked bacon in his potato salad. I’m delighted to be somewhere where I can order Prosecco with my lunch. Fantastic. That night we hop around some of the dives in the neighborhood and meet some other good friends for beers and dinner. It is absolutely superb to be with some good peeps that I love – swop stories and get to know the new additions. A few of us catch some live hippy music at the 331 Club and then saunter down the street to one of the seediest strip clubs that I have ever visited. Good times. Good times.
In the morning, we visited The Mall of America. I figured it was a must see attraction on the all American expedition; after all, consuming is the all American way. This place is absolutely ridiculous, and you have to reference the store guide and map to find anything. There’s a Nickelodeon themed amusement park in the center and the rides are like something out of the future. The highlight of the venture was that we met up with Jarvis’ momma, and she and I got to spend the afternoon browsing the endless amount of clothing racks for various odds and ends. We had dinner with Jarv’s aunt, uncle, and their two beautiful girls later that day. Our lasagna was served with a side of laughter, and I’m thankful to have expanded my family circuit to include so many new and fantastic faces.
Today I came down with a sore throat and a bit of a cold, but I’m glad that at least we are around the mom for some genuine love and care. I thank the stars that I was blessed with such a marvelous mother-in-law – being at her home is cozy and comforting. Jarvis and her are in the kitchen making some homemade vegetable soup right now – the perfect cure for the probing cold.
Our first night in the metropolitan area was spent in the outer reaches of the Twin Cities with a few of Jarvis’ cousins and his oober cute God Son. That evening, we had a bbq supper in the park. I enjoy our time sitting around the picnic table swapping stories. Jarvis got to run-a-muck with the lil’ one for a bit before we ate, and it makes me extremely happy to know that he is building memories with his favorite kiddo. We might have stayed there visiting all night, but as the sun set in the distance the mosquitoes began to congregate and irritate.
We make our way out of the fringes of the cities in the morning and head into NW Minneapolis to meet an old friend from San Francisco. Every time we stop through Minneapolis, we make it a point to drop in on our good friend Rich – he’s consistently cordial, and his extensive knowledge of the cities best dives, eateries, and watering holes is extraordinary. Upon our arrival he took us to Manny’s Steakhouse for one of the best lunches that I’ve consumed on this entire vacation. I had the surf n’ turf sliders with a crock of French onion soup and Jarvis can’t help but exclaim over the fact that there are bits of applewood smoked bacon in his potato salad. I’m delighted to be somewhere where I can order Prosecco with my lunch. Fantastic. That night we hop around some of the dives in the neighborhood and meet some other good friends for beers and dinner. It is absolutely superb to be with some good peeps that I love – swop stories and get to know the new additions. A few of us catch some live hippy music at the 331 Club and then saunter down the street to one of the seediest strip clubs that I have ever visited. Good times. Good times.
In the morning, we visited The Mall of America. I figured it was a must see attraction on the all American expedition; after all, consuming is the all American way. This place is absolutely ridiculous, and you have to reference the store guide and map to find anything. There’s a Nickelodeon themed amusement park in the center and the rides are like something out of the future. The highlight of the venture was that we met up with Jarvis’ momma, and she and I got to spend the afternoon browsing the endless amount of clothing racks for various odds and ends. We had dinner with Jarv’s aunt, uncle, and their two beautiful girls later that day. Our lasagna was served with a side of laughter, and I’m thankful to have expanded my family circuit to include so many new and fantastic faces.
Today I came down with a sore throat and a bit of a cold, but I’m glad that at least we are around the mom for some genuine love and care. I thank the stars that I was blessed with such a marvelous mother-in-law – being at her home is cozy and comforting. Jarvis and her are in the kitchen making some homemade vegetable soup right now – the perfect cure for the probing cold.
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